After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
