I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
