We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
