And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
