I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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