yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I want to make a zoo with you.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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