I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize