At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
