Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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