She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
