At least make sure they are 18
Why
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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