i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
