But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
