he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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