mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
