and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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