so explain again why im purple
no
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize