I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
