I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
and she was petting her beer can
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
