Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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