Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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