my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
