Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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