I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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