That's intense
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
