Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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