Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
