On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize