I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
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