don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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