she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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