i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
