when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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