Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
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I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
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Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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