I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened