i was born a porn star she said
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.