I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
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Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister