at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.