That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
even my farts smell like vagina
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS