drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
