People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
