I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
