The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
