Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
When did angry sex become our thing?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
