I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
false alarm, still single
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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