Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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