Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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