I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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