not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
