i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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