She's JV to your varsity
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
