found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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