Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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