You work out of a Hotel?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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