i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
