how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
