Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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