God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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