A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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