Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
