Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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